the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
