We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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