What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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