he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
