i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
