Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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