you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
