remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
