umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
