I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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