It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
