Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
