Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
