That's intense
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
