tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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