How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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