Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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