It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
