random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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