I puked a lego.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
