I wannas sexs uuuuu
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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