yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
