I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
