I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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