Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Less talking, more tequila
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
