just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
