I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
