the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
