she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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