exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize