There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
