It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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