So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
