I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
