I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
