Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
