My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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