i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
