On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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