So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
