I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
