I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
