He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it glows. i had to have it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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