I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
