he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Are my feet made of real feet?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
