Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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