in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
