hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
