Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
