THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
