Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
