Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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