Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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