About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Small penises have feelings too.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
