My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
