is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
