your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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