Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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