I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i believe in u and ur pee
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
