Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
