Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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