I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
