just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize